How to handle a biter
No doubt about it, biting is uncivilized behavior.
But your toddler is still a bit uncivilized. When 15-month-olds bite,
it's usually because they lack the language skills to express
themselves. If they feel threatened, sometimes all they can think of to
do is chomp.
Here's a good strategy for preventing biting from
becoming a habit: First turn your attention to the child who was bitten
and make sure he's okay. Stay calm with both children. There's little to
be gained by yelling at or punishing the biter, who was overwhelmed by
emotions she found hard to control.
In fact, the biter may be
crying harder than the bitten. Simply say "no biting" and redirect her.
Take note of what was happening at the time of the incident. Was your
child being threatened or was her space being invaded? Is it close to
nap time? You may be able to head off trouble if you know what the
triggers are.
Never try to teach your child how biting feels by doing it to her. That only suggests that biting is sometimes okay.
Safe spaces for play
One way to handle discipline
with a rambunctious toddler us to avoid situations in which you're
likely to have to dole it out. Minimize how often you have to say "no"
by childproofing at least a part of your home in which your toddler can
be contained.
It's not always easy to create a childproof area in
your home, especially if your child is a determined explorer who's into
everything. But if you can manage it, a safe space gives your child a
chance to explore freely without being constantly redirected or told
"no," and it gives you a bit of a break. You still need to supervise,
but it's a lot more relaxed if sharp objects, breakables, plants,
electric cords, trash cans, and other temptations are removed from
reach.
15 Month Old - 3 week
Keeping small hands busy
Keys, pencils, lipstick, phones: All may be fascinating to your toddler. These objects are fun to look at and manipulate, and when your toddler sees you using them, he wants to do the same.
The problem is, you might not want him demolishing your lipstick! (And many of these items, including lipstick, can be toxic or pose a choking hazard.) Your challenge is to find things he can safely use to satisfy his need to mimic – like a set of plastic keys, an old purse of yours with a hairbrush and comb, a cheap wallet.
There are plenty of other ways to keep your toddler's hands occupied for more than a minute or two. For example, fill a laundry basket with safe odds and ends, such as plastic containers and lids, scarves, hats, and wooden spoons and other big utensils. He'll love getting his hands on objects that look like they have a purpose and trying to figure out how to use them.
Beginning speech
Worried because your child isn't speaking much yet? Don't be. Many children, especially boys, speak little until the middle of the second year. Chances are good, though, that your 15-month-old understands a great deal of what you say. Keep speaking and reading to your child, but don't try to coax or drill. By 18 months he should be able to say at least 15 words.
Do pay attention to your child's ability to hear, as poor hearing can create speech delays. Report any concerns to his doctor. The sooner a hearing problem is treated, the better the outcome is likely to be.
Keys, pencils, lipstick, phones: All may be fascinating to your toddler. These objects are fun to look at and manipulate, and when your toddler sees you using them, he wants to do the same.
The problem is, you might not want him demolishing your lipstick! (And many of these items, including lipstick, can be toxic or pose a choking hazard.) Your challenge is to find things he can safely use to satisfy his need to mimic – like a set of plastic keys, an old purse of yours with a hairbrush and comb, a cheap wallet.
There are plenty of other ways to keep your toddler's hands occupied for more than a minute or two. For example, fill a laundry basket with safe odds and ends, such as plastic containers and lids, scarves, hats, and wooden spoons and other big utensils. He'll love getting his hands on objects that look like they have a purpose and trying to figure out how to use them.
Beginning speech
Worried because your child isn't speaking much yet? Don't be. Many children, especially boys, speak little until the middle of the second year. Chances are good, though, that your 15-month-old understands a great deal of what you say. Keep speaking and reading to your child, but don't try to coax or drill. By 18 months he should be able to say at least 15 words.
Do pay attention to your child's ability to hear, as poor hearing can create speech delays. Report any concerns to his doctor. The sooner a hearing problem is treated, the better the outcome is likely to be.
15 Month old - 2 week
Power struggles
Where there's a will, there's a won't. And your toddler is discovering that will, big time. The generally agreeable nature of a 12-month-old can morph overnight into something more exhausting. "No" will soon become one of her favorite words.
Rigid, contrariety behavior shows that your child is beginning to understand a huge concept: She's a separate person from you. (It's the seeds of the you-are-not-the-boss-of-me syndrome.) Power struggles at this age are likely to be over things like diaper changes, tooth brushing, and getting into the stroller or car seat.
Your best bet is to sidestep power struggles when you can. Let things go if they don't really matter (say, changing a shirt that has gotten dirty). Save your energy and follow-through for the big stuff (no hitting, for example).
Helping a timid toddler
If your child has a reserved personality, resist labeling her "shy." She may be slow to warm up to others, but most toddlers sometimes act shy, especially in new situations. Separation anxiety can afflict the sociable and bold as well as their more timid peers.
If your child seems generally introverted, give her extra TLC. In stressful social situations, let her know you understand. Hold her hand and say "It's noisy at this party, isn't it?" Give her extra time to warm up without pushing, and praise her when she's sociable rather than pointing out times when she's reserved.
Where there's a will, there's a won't. And your toddler is discovering that will, big time. The generally agreeable nature of a 12-month-old can morph overnight into something more exhausting. "No" will soon become one of her favorite words.
Rigid, contrariety behavior shows that your child is beginning to understand a huge concept: She's a separate person from you. (It's the seeds of the you-are-not-the-boss-of-me syndrome.) Power struggles at this age are likely to be over things like diaper changes, tooth brushing, and getting into the stroller or car seat.
Your best bet is to sidestep power struggles when you can. Let things go if they don't really matter (say, changing a shirt that has gotten dirty). Save your energy and follow-through for the big stuff (no hitting, for example).
Helping a timid toddler
If your child has a reserved personality, resist labeling her "shy." She may be slow to warm up to others, but most toddlers sometimes act shy, especially in new situations. Separation anxiety can afflict the sociable and bold as well as their more timid peers.
If your child seems generally introverted, give her extra TLC. In stressful social situations, let her know you understand. Hold her hand and say "It's noisy at this party, isn't it?" Give her extra time to warm up without pushing, and praise her when she's sociable rather than pointing out times when she's reserved.
15 Month old - 1 week
Getting into books
Be persistent. Keep introducing your child to books and eventually he'll love sitting and listening to stories. In the long run, reading is likely to be one of the most rewarding activities the two of you share. Reading aloud to kids expands their vocabulary and lets them experience the joy of telling and hearing stories. It teaches them how the world around them works and helps them develop a love of learning.
Board books are perfect because the pages are sturdy and easy for small hands to turn. Choose picture books with big, bright, clear images, and ask questions as you read: Can you find the dog? What does the dog say? Where is the mommy?
If your child seems to be losing interest in one book, pick up a different book, perhaps one with a catchy rhyme, such as something by Dr. Seuss or Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. Let him help you turn the pages.
If your child doesn't want to look at books right now, try again another time. Bedtime or before a nap, when he's already wound down and ready to cuddle, is ideal. It's no coincidence that so many great kids' books – like Goodnight Moon – end with the main character fast asleep.
Toddlers often want to hear the same story again and again. Repetition helps them learn the words, and familiarity with the story – "Aha! I knew that would happen!" – is reassuring.
Hard goodbyes
How can you make saying bye-bye easier when your child is in the throes of separation anxiety? Sneaking off may seem to make the task less daunting but can actually feed the anxiety. If your child thinks you might disappear at any time without notice, he's not going to let you out of his sight. Always say good-bye when you leave.
Make your goodbyes matter-of-fact, not emotional, even if your child is crying. Your child will probably get over the pang of separating more quickly than you do!
Parent tip "Both my girls use sign language for things like 'more' and 'all done.' When I sign words to them I say them out loud, too, and eventually they pick it up. I give them lots of praise when they do this, and they really get excited about speaking." – Bethany
1 year old, fourth week
How your toddler's growing: copy-cat behaviour
Your child is watching everything you do. Toddlers love to copy the behaviour of people around them, especially their parents. It's how they learn basic behaviours.
You may see your child trying to brush her hair, wiping a table with her bib, pressing buttons on your mobile, or trying on your sunglasses. Eventually she'll pick up on your words and speech patterns, too.
But imitation has a downside. Your child may watch you take vitamins or pills and later, when you're not looking, decide to do the same herself. So be vigilant about safety. Look for child-resistant caps on medicines and vitamins, and store the pills out of reach. Don't let her see how you open child-safety latches – she'll be eager to open them just like you do.
Your life now: marking milestones
Worried that your little one isn't toddling around on two feet yet? There's probably no need for concern. The normal range for reaching this milestone is very broad, and some children don't walk until 16 or 17 months.
The 12-month mark is a good time to remember that each child is unique and meets milestones at their own pace. What's important is the progression – in other words, that she's continuing to develop and learn new skills.
Developmental guidelines simply show what your child has the potential to accomplish – if not right now, then soon. Trust your instincts, and don't hesitate to bring up concerns with your family doctor or paediatrician if you're worried or want to know what to watch for.
Parent tip: reuse disposable wipes
"Most disposable wipes can be reused. In my house, they actually survive two or three journeys through the washing machine. When they're clean, I put them back in the tub with the others." – Libby
Community
Is your toddler developing some new and unpleasant habits, such as hitting and biting? Find support and advice from other parents in our community.
Things to consider
Help your child become more independent.
Toddler refusing to eat? Find out how to deal with toddler feeding problems.
Find out about establishing good sleep habits for toddlers aged 12 to 18 months.
Your child is watching everything you do. Toddlers love to copy the behaviour of people around them, especially their parents. It's how they learn basic behaviours.
You may see your child trying to brush her hair, wiping a table with her bib, pressing buttons on your mobile, or trying on your sunglasses. Eventually she'll pick up on your words and speech patterns, too.
But imitation has a downside. Your child may watch you take vitamins or pills and later, when you're not looking, decide to do the same herself. So be vigilant about safety. Look for child-resistant caps on medicines and vitamins, and store the pills out of reach. Don't let her see how you open child-safety latches – she'll be eager to open them just like you do.
Your life now: marking milestones
Worried that your little one isn't toddling around on two feet yet? There's probably no need for concern. The normal range for reaching this milestone is very broad, and some children don't walk until 16 or 17 months.
The 12-month mark is a good time to remember that each child is unique and meets milestones at their own pace. What's important is the progression – in other words, that she's continuing to develop and learn new skills.
Developmental guidelines simply show what your child has the potential to accomplish – if not right now, then soon. Trust your instincts, and don't hesitate to bring up concerns with your family doctor or paediatrician if you're worried or want to know what to watch for.
Parent tip: reuse disposable wipes
"Most disposable wipes can be reused. In my house, they actually survive two or three journeys through the washing machine. When they're clean, I put them back in the tub with the others." – Libby
Community
Is your toddler developing some new and unpleasant habits, such as hitting and biting? Find support and advice from other parents in our community.
Things to consider
Help your child become more independent.
Toddler refusing to eat? Find out how to deal with toddler feeding problems.
Find out about establishing good sleep habits for toddlers aged 12 to 18 months.
1 year old, third week
eyond babbling
It's an exciting time when, after months of babbling, your child begins to form recognisable words. It's not an overnight process, and the pace varies significantly from child to child. One thing is sure, though: he understands far more than he can say. Some things to watch for include:
Your life now: big dangers for small fingers
Your toddler's pincer grasp is probably well developed by now, so he can pick up small objects between his thumb and forefinger fairly easily. He may enjoy practising this skill on any little thing he finds on the floor, which is a lot closer and more visible to his keen eyes than it is to yours.
Be extra careful about small but potentially dangerous items that fall to the floor without adults noticing, such as vitamins and other pills, pieces of food (and pet food), pushpins from the kitchen noticeboard, tiny toy parts used by older siblings and so on. They could end up in your child's mouth.
Parent tip: learning languages
"Kids grow up all over the world learning more than one language, and our children can too. Malaysians know this better than most other people. We should encourage and help our kids learn more than one language." – Vishnu
Community
Experiencing feeding problems or looking for recipes? Talk to other mums in our Community.
Things to consider
Help your toddler develop his love of reading.
Off on the road? Print of our packing checklist for toddlers.
Wonder what to expect from your little one now he's a toddler? See our toddler milestone charts.
It's an exciting time when, after months of babbling, your child begins to form recognisable words. It's not an overnight process, and the pace varies significantly from child to child. One thing is sure, though: he understands far more than he can say. Some things to watch for include:
- Gestures that speak louder than words. Your toddler may be a man
of few words but talking up a storm in gestures, like raised arms for
"up" or a pointed finger for "What's that?" Toddlers who learn sign language as babies are especially "fluent".
- Words with many meanings. An early word like "joos" may mean,
"I'm thirsty for milk," "No, I want water," or "Mum! I dropped my
bottle!" Listen to the tone. He'll say the same word in different ways
and using different gestures.
- Words from everyday life. Perhaps not surprisingly, your
child's first words probably relate to things in his immediate life:
"Mama" and "Dada", other favourite people or pets or words to do with
eating ("baba" for bottle), sleeping ("nite-nite"), possessions ("ba"
for bear) or desires ("up").
Your life now: big dangers for small fingers
Your toddler's pincer grasp is probably well developed by now, so he can pick up small objects between his thumb and forefinger fairly easily. He may enjoy practising this skill on any little thing he finds on the floor, which is a lot closer and more visible to his keen eyes than it is to yours.
Be extra careful about small but potentially dangerous items that fall to the floor without adults noticing, such as vitamins and other pills, pieces of food (and pet food), pushpins from the kitchen noticeboard, tiny toy parts used by older siblings and so on. They could end up in your child's mouth.
Parent tip: learning languages
"Kids grow up all over the world learning more than one language, and our children can too. Malaysians know this better than most other people. We should encourage and help our kids learn more than one language." – Vishnu
Community
Experiencing feeding problems or looking for recipes? Talk to other mums in our Community.
Things to consider
Help your toddler develop his love of reading.
Off on the road? Print of our packing checklist for toddlers.
Wonder what to expect from your little one now he's a toddler? See our toddler milestone charts.
1 year old, second week
Introducing the dentist
It's time for your toddler's first official visit to the dentist. It may seem a little early, but caring for your toddler's teeth as soon as they emerge will reduce her chances of needing fillings when she's older.
Hopefully you'll have already started taking her to your own appointments so that she can get used to all the different sights, sounds and smells of a dentist's surgery. From now on it's a good idea to start making separate appointments for her too.
Your toddler's first visit is an opportunity to check that all is well with her baby teeth. It also gives your dentist an opportunity to offer pointers on brushing her teeth, preventing decay and making sure she gets the right amount of fluoride.
At home, continue cleaning your toddler's teeth using a small brush with soft bristles and a small smear of children's fluoride toothpaste. Children under three should use a toothpaste with a fluoride level of at least 1000ppm (parts per million). Try to use small, circular movements rather than sawing backwards and forwards. You may find you get a better view of your toddler's mouth if you cradle her on your lap with her head resting in the crook of your arm. To distract your child while you do the job, try giving her a toothbrush to hold, too.
Your life: putting milk on the menu
Cow's milk can probably become a bigger part of your child's diet now that she's passed the 12-month mark.
Whole, or full-fat, milk is usually the beverage of choice at this age because toddlers need fat to fuel their growth and their considerable energy needs. You should give her this until she's at least two years old.
When drunk in moderate amounts, cow's milk has many of the nutrients a growing toddler needs. Nutritionists recommend that one-year-olds drink no more than 350ml (two thirds of a pint) of milk a day.
Some toddlers love their milk and the challenge for parents is not to go overboard. A child who drinks more than 350ml may fill up on milk and miss out on other foods that are important for a balanced diet.
At the other extreme are toddlers who turn up their nose at cow's milk, at least at first. After all, it has a different texture, taste and even temperature to breastmilk or formula. Parents of reluctant milk-drinkers can try mixing whole milk with some breastmilk or formula milk at first (say, one part whole milk and three parts of your toddler's usual milk). Then slowly increase the amount of milk to 100 per cent.
Parent tip: buying books
"I buy children's books for my son and include a sentimental note inside the cover related to the book's subject. Not only will it be a special keepsake for him one day, but it also builds up his library." – Courtney
Share your tips!
Community
Has your toddler started crying whenever you're parted from him? Talk to other mums and dads about separation anxiety in our community's Toddler group.
Things to consider
Does your little one love hearing the same sounds and stories over and over again. Find out why.
If you feel ready to stop breastfeeding, find out how to wean your toddler from the breast.
Or maybe extended breastfeeding is best for both of you?
It's time for your toddler's first official visit to the dentist. It may seem a little early, but caring for your toddler's teeth as soon as they emerge will reduce her chances of needing fillings when she's older.
Hopefully you'll have already started taking her to your own appointments so that she can get used to all the different sights, sounds and smells of a dentist's surgery. From now on it's a good idea to start making separate appointments for her too.
Your toddler's first visit is an opportunity to check that all is well with her baby teeth. It also gives your dentist an opportunity to offer pointers on brushing her teeth, preventing decay and making sure she gets the right amount of fluoride.
At home, continue cleaning your toddler's teeth using a small brush with soft bristles and a small smear of children's fluoride toothpaste. Children under three should use a toothpaste with a fluoride level of at least 1000ppm (parts per million). Try to use small, circular movements rather than sawing backwards and forwards. You may find you get a better view of your toddler's mouth if you cradle her on your lap with her head resting in the crook of your arm. To distract your child while you do the job, try giving her a toothbrush to hold, too.
Your life: putting milk on the menu
Cow's milk can probably become a bigger part of your child's diet now that she's passed the 12-month mark.
Whole, or full-fat, milk is usually the beverage of choice at this age because toddlers need fat to fuel their growth and their considerable energy needs. You should give her this until she's at least two years old.
When drunk in moderate amounts, cow's milk has many of the nutrients a growing toddler needs. Nutritionists recommend that one-year-olds drink no more than 350ml (two thirds of a pint) of milk a day.
Some toddlers love their milk and the challenge for parents is not to go overboard. A child who drinks more than 350ml may fill up on milk and miss out on other foods that are important for a balanced diet.
At the other extreme are toddlers who turn up their nose at cow's milk, at least at first. After all, it has a different texture, taste and even temperature to breastmilk or formula. Parents of reluctant milk-drinkers can try mixing whole milk with some breastmilk or formula milk at first (say, one part whole milk and three parts of your toddler's usual milk). Then slowly increase the amount of milk to 100 per cent.
Parent tip: buying books
"I buy children's books for my son and include a sentimental note inside the cover related to the book's subject. Not only will it be a special keepsake for him one day, but it also builds up his library." – Courtney
Share your tips!
Community
Has your toddler started crying whenever you're parted from him? Talk to other mums and dads about separation anxiety in our community's Toddler group.
Things to consider
Does your little one love hearing the same sounds and stories over and over again. Find out why.
If you feel ready to stop breastfeeding, find out how to wean your toddler from the breast.
Or maybe extended breastfeeding is best for both of you?
1 Year old
How your baby's growing
Happy birthday, baby! Your first year is over and babyhood is behind you. Hold on for the toddler years... In the coming months, your little one will seek more independence, discover the world from an upright position, find his sense of humour, and best of all, learn to say he loves you.
Your life: easing separations
Though your baby is beginning to discover his independence, he probably still has bouts of separation anxiety. This is natural. To ease departures, allow plenty of time. Getting to the nursery early or getting him settled with the babysitter early gives him a chance to adjust. It's best to be matter-of-fact when you leave.
Don't sneak away or prolong the agony with extended good-byes; make it quick, with just one kiss. If you listen outside, you'll usually find that your baby's tears subside soon after you're out of sight. It's hard not to feel guilty, but you can help your child feel more independent by not hovering over him all the time.
Read more about helping your baby make a smooth transition between your home and his carer's home.
Keeping toys fresh
It's a good idea to put away some of those new toys and bring them out a few at a time, so your baby doesn't get overwhelmed. You'll need to sort out toy storage now, to keep all the pieces of that jigsaw or shape sorter together. Keep hold of shoe boxes, biscuit tins and gift boxes, which all make useful storage boxes. If your baby has some birthday money to spend, you'll notice that a frustratingly large number of toys are labelled unsuitable for under-threes – find out why.
Baby signing
In the second year, many toddlers become frustrated by their inability to communicate their needs – they know what they want but they don't have the language skills to say it. Baby signing is becoming an established technique to get over this stage. You and your toddler can quickly learn a handful of signs to help her let you know when she wants more food or needs a drink, for example. While some people worry that using sign language will delay talking, the opposite has been found to be true.
Parent tip: baby book club
"I started reading to my baby when she was two months old. I kept to a small group of three books with rhyming words and colourful pictures. Now she'll leaf through any book or magazine in her path! When she's in the mood, she'll babble as she turns the pages herself." – Gloria
Share your tips.
Community
Tell us about your baby's birthday party. You'll find plenty of mums to share the joy in our community forums.
Things to consider
Your baby's MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) immunisation is due in the next few weeks. You can find out more details in our immunisation chart .
Happy birthday, baby! Your first year is over and babyhood is behind you. Hold on for the toddler years... In the coming months, your little one will seek more independence, discover the world from an upright position, find his sense of humour, and best of all, learn to say he loves you.
Your life: easing separations
Though your baby is beginning to discover his independence, he probably still has bouts of separation anxiety. This is natural. To ease departures, allow plenty of time. Getting to the nursery early or getting him settled with the babysitter early gives him a chance to adjust. It's best to be matter-of-fact when you leave.
Don't sneak away or prolong the agony with extended good-byes; make it quick, with just one kiss. If you listen outside, you'll usually find that your baby's tears subside soon after you're out of sight. It's hard not to feel guilty, but you can help your child feel more independent by not hovering over him all the time.
Read more about helping your baby make a smooth transition between your home and his carer's home.
Keeping toys fresh
It's a good idea to put away some of those new toys and bring them out a few at a time, so your baby doesn't get overwhelmed. You'll need to sort out toy storage now, to keep all the pieces of that jigsaw or shape sorter together. Keep hold of shoe boxes, biscuit tins and gift boxes, which all make useful storage boxes. If your baby has some birthday money to spend, you'll notice that a frustratingly large number of toys are labelled unsuitable for under-threes – find out why.
Baby signing
In the second year, many toddlers become frustrated by their inability to communicate their needs – they know what they want but they don't have the language skills to say it. Baby signing is becoming an established technique to get over this stage. You and your toddler can quickly learn a handful of signs to help her let you know when she wants more food or needs a drink, for example. While some people worry that using sign language will delay talking, the opposite has been found to be true.
Parent tip: baby book club
"I started reading to my baby when she was two months old. I kept to a small group of three books with rhyming words and colourful pictures. Now she'll leaf through any book or magazine in her path! When she's in the mood, she'll babble as she turns the pages herself." – Gloria
Share your tips.
Community
Tell us about your baby's birthday party. You'll find plenty of mums to share the joy in our community forums.
Things to consider
Your baby's MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) immunisation is due in the next few weeks. You can find out more details in our immunisation chart .
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