Breastfitting

I try to give my baby breast milk but the first 3 days. I really don't have milk. And after I delivery my hold body super pain  and tried.

Im getting stress due to don't have breast milk, my hubby and some aunty keep on asking me " do have breast milk? You have to give your baby breast milk it is good your baby".

4th days night I feel my breast heavy and start to pain. Is the sign that is breast milk. But there is problem, I try to pump it out. It just a little only half oz.

Below is the useful information : www.breastmilk.com

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State of Pregnant

Body shape start to change on 6 months pregnant... from 52kg to 60 kg,
and vomiting also getting less. It good me.
But at night still can't sleep will, so my eye like the panda @ _ @.

I really didn't think that I will get pregnant so fast.
Become a pregnant woman is really amazing,
when the baby kicking that time feel shock! and when you talk to the baby he know it.
It is really amazing ^ .^
 

Sugar Drink

Last few day on Wednesday, 28 Mar. I have an appointment to test the diabetes. The doctor said scare after give birth most of the mother will have the diabetes, so they have to early testing the diabetes by drinking the sugar water.

Early morning 8am have be there, can't eat anything that mean have to diet. Behind from the day before 10pm till the next morning finishing the test.

First the nurse have to inject from blood test, then ask me go to drink 250ml sugar water. IT TASTE SUPER SWEET......  I drink almost want to vomiting then the nurse said if you vomit it you have to drink another cup. So I very scare drink a bit a bit... but can't because it make my tongue want to stop to drink it. Then I look around the the nurse didn't see it, leave above 20ml I thrown it in the sink. Heheheeee....

Nurse said after drink in wait for 2 hours, get the 2nd time blood test. So one day take 2 inject in differ hand. It super pain the nurse not GOOD in taking blood.

Em... the hold process take about 3-4 hours. After finish the process the 1st thing is want eat something because my baby super hunger.

Nurse said the result is taking about 3days. If I have diabetes they will call me. If not that me I'm ok and ask the result during, check-up.

Pray for it....

Birthday Cake

A surprise Birthday Cake from my hubby.
I really didn't know that my younger sister in law
help my hubby to buy the Hello Kitty cake for my this year birthday.

It really surprise me when I saw it. And the cake taste very nice.
In early I tell my hubby don't buy cake for my birthday because
I'm pregnant the baby don't like to eat the creamy food.
Then my sister in law said buy the pandan cake it is not creamy so
that I can eat.

Thanks Elva for your caring ^ . ^

Celebration

Em... last weekend first time celebration my birthday together with my parent in law. Due to my farther in law like to eat Korean BBQ and also me and my bb can eat it.

I think next year will add my little one celebration with me.....

When it will get better?

To my little one, when will you stop vomit?
Mummy is very tired and no mood, every time vomiting.
Yesterday is the worst, vomit till I gastric.
Mummy feel so sad ....

How In Control Are You

Are you in complete control of your life or do you let others make all the major decisions about where you’re going, who you’ll do when you get there? Try this fun quiz to find out.

1. You’re invited on a fab holiday with a mixed group of friends, male and female, but you know your parents won’t approve. You:
1. Tell them but go anyway and to hell with the consequences. It’s your life, right?
2. Lie to them, either pretending it’s an all female group or that the trip is necessary for work or study.
3. Try to win them over, invite a couple of these friends over so they know your mates are not axe murderers or druggies. But you won’t go if you don’t win your parents’ blessing.

2. Some friends plan a cinema outing but you don’t fancy the film they’ve chosen. You:
1. Keep quiet about it. Why rock the boat? You’ll find someone else with whom to share your choice of film.
2. Say you don’t fancy the film but will meet them later for a drink.
3. Demand they all go to see your choice of film – your taste is infinitely better and your ability to argue stronger.

3. When you’re out with your man, how do you feel about who picks up the tab?
1. He does, of course, even if you earn more. That’s what are for, surely?
2. You do, mostly, because you like to pay your way and it means you always get to go where you want to.
3. No matter who earns most, you always split it down the middle for fairness.

4. What is your idea of having fun?
1. Life is a rollercoaster and you just ride with it. You like a wide variety of fun-filled activities, so long as there are lots of them.
2. You hate big crowds and funfairs and prefer small, intimate gatherings. You shine best at dinner parties, restaurants or nights in with the girls.
3. It all depends where the fun people are. You’re happy to join in whatever your friends are doing.

5. Your boss has been extremely critical recently and you can’t seem to please her. You:
1. Have it out with her, ask her what her problem is. You know you’re doing a good job and, if she doesn’t like it you know darn well you could move.
2. Ask your friends and family for advice but, be honest, you don’t have to take it. You just need warm shoulders to lean on right now.
3. You look at your performance overall, find ways to improve, then put then put them into action. You only confront her if she’s still unsatisfied.

6. When bills, like credit card statements, arrive at the end of the month, what do you do?
1. Shove them in a drawer till you vaguely think it’s time to pay them. You’re frequently behind with payments so get clobbered with late payment charges.
2. You file them away in date order and them pay them in time, but always at the last minute.
3. You’ve set up standing instructions with the bank so you just check to make sure the right amount has gone out.

7. When do you plan your big holiday of the year?
1. As soon as you get back from the last one.
2. You always go for last-minute bargains, it’s more fun that way.
3. By poring over brochures endlessly before making a final decision.

8. You believe that taking good care of your health is …
1. Something you know you should do and you know what you should do too. And you will – once you hit your 30s or 40s.
2. You exercise regularly, never smoke, hardly drink, eat a balanced diet and get plenty of sleep.
3. You know what you should do and you follow it most of the time but you lapse at times. Still, you try, don’t you?

HOW YOU SCORED

1. a-3, b-2, c-1
2. a-1, b-2, c-3
3. a-1, b-3, c-2
4. a-2, b-3, c-1
5. a-3, b-1, c-2
6. a-1, b-2, c-3
7. a-2, b-1, c-3
8. a-1, b-3, c-2

Control Freak (24-18) Boy, are you a controller! The higher your score, the more you are in control of your life. Or would like to be. You’re just like Madonna, organizing your life so spectacularly that even your children come in the right order, on time, and when you want them. Your wedding will be, like hers, a major opportunity for people to see you exactly as you want them to. Like her, you’ll have every detail sorted. Sounds fun, doesn’t it? For goodness’ sake, lighten up. Life cannot be totally controlled. Ask yourself why you need to be in such control. Let go a bit more and you might finally do what you fear most – enjoy yourself.
	Smooth Sailer (17-11) You like a bit of control over your life but you’ve no illusions. You know control is, well, an illusion. So you do what you can to control what you can but you don’t mind letting others sometimes lead the way, or let life take you where it will. Life isn’t completely about fate but nor is it something where we have total control over the script, principal players and plot. You recognize that. You’re healthy, fun to be with and friends appreciate you. Just make sure those parts of your life you are trying to control are the ones that matter – mostly your health and finances. As for the rest, have fun. Don’t be too hard on others if they don’t share your balanced attitude to life.
Doormat (10 or less) You’re either a complete wimp or, much more cleverly, you prefer to let others take the sweat out of your existence and make all your decisions for you. You’re so easygoing and laid back, you’re practically falling over. You don’t mind what happens to you. You know you’ll enjoy it. But you could be in denial. Maybe you fear others won’t listen to you so you just go along with what they say. Perhaps you fear trying to have more control over your life because you understand how hard this can be. Maybe you’re a youngest child or someone who has a “rescue me” script – you’re just waiting for others to make your life okay. It won’t work. Your need to grow up a bit. It’s fine to be easygoing, but try to form some opinions of your own.

The Mind State of an Ice Sculptor

Working is like sculpting an ice palace.

Under the brightly lit light,

the palace is sparkling and splendid looking.

But, in the end,

the crystalline ice palace will dissolve.

Engaging in work with focused attention is very good.

However, if the mood is too serious and too heavy,

you will feel very tired and very pressured.

So, you should work with the mind state of an ice sculptor,

and accomplish the task joyfully and in a relaxed manner.

Don't be too attached, or too serious,

but do pay attention while sculpting.

Reflection in the Water

The "Great Compassion Mantra" and "Diamond Sutra"

are required daily practice for us.

This is brain washing.

We must wash our own brain every day.

Otherwise, the thinking mind quickly gives rise to afflictions;

unable to feel where the happiness lies.

Start with holding of attention in mantra,

and mindfulness of Buddha;

follow with the practice of Ch'an meditation.

Repetition of mantra, chanting of Buddha's name,

and focused sitting meditation,

are all work that is one to one.

It is you facing yourself.

Why are we doing this one to one business?

It is like when we let ourselves reflect upon the water,

our image shows up in the water as a reflection.

If we do not let ourselves reflect upon the water,

our reflection does not show up;

and we will not find ourselves.

Chanting of Sutra, or recitation of mantra,

is to allow your own image to reflect in the mantra,

in the Sutra, like the reflection that appears in the water.

The "Self" is found inside this reflection.

Real Self in the Robot

This body of ours is like a robot.

It can move only when the source of electricity is turned on.

There is something that sustains our body;

a formless, invisible thing that controls everything.

This thing is the same in the present, in the past, and in the future.

It is the "Self" from before the time our parents gave birth to us.

It does not have any fave, any mind, nor any of the five

senses, and it is beyond all activities of consciousness.

When we sit silently in meditation,

we can observe and perceive the real nature of this thing.

Gradually, you will come to understand yourself.

The thing that is your "Self" may be called

no-self, the true self, the original face,

or it may be called Buddha, God, or maybe Allah.

The Sun and the Dark Cloud

Our "awakened nature" is like the sun;
our various ideas and conceptions are like dark clouds.
Every single day, the sun shines brightly.
The only difference from one moment to the next is
whether a dark cloud is there or not.
"No awareness" is like
when the sun is blocked by a dark cloud.
In actuality, the sun is still there.
The "awajebed nature" is never confused or unaware,
not even for a brief moment.
It can only be temporarily obscured and covered up
by our ideas and conceptions.
Through spiritual practice, our mind and heart slowly
become clear and brigh, capable of transcendence.
You will discover that the "awakened nature" is like
a sun shining on the earth,
a mountain spring,
a stone wall.
Its original nature is to shed light on all and everything,
without any distinction of good and bad.
None of this stuff can, or will, interfere with the sun.
So, our 'awakened nature" is never lost.
Everyone has it all originally.
Some day we may eventually discover
this very beautiful, very pure, and serene "awakened nature."

The Sun

When we are confused and bewildered,
when we are grasping and clinging,
when we are disturbed or depressed,
when we are attached and deluded,
we often end up losing our mind and heart.
However, through the contemplation of "prajna," wisdom
can reveal insigh into all of creation in the universe.
It is like the sun shining upoon every place on earth,
brightening our eyes and unlocking our wisdom,
enabling us to cut through the various traps and
entranglements of the world;
thus, ending all afflitions once and for all.
Our mind and heart are no longer confused and lost.
We can live wih greater freedom and ease.

Not Wearing Clothes

That which ca change or be transformed may not be
called the "Mysteriously Begotten" or the absolute reality.
The complete "Emptiness"
is the "Mysteriously Begotten," the absolute reality;
that which is not tied to any visible, changeable,
outer conditions or phenomena.
The "Mysteriously Begotten" is the complete "Emptiness"
of the mind and heart.
So, what sort of change occurs
when the mind and heart are empty?
Well, the mind and heart are not wearing any clothes.
What do we mean by "wearing clothes?"
We mean "making connections to all kinds of appearances,
and giving rise to every kind of inner state."
Without "Emptiness," you will not see the "Self."
"Emptiness" is not wearing the clothing o form,
appearance, sound, sensation, or feeling, etc.

Taking Off Clothes

What is our original face?
Our mid and heart, at the very present moment,
is our original face;
but we often mistake our unreal hysical bodies
as the origina face.
We take what is seen, and what is heard,
as the original face;
we take all of the outer stuff as our original face.
Thus, our mid and heart often run around with
phenomena, chasing after everything,
frequently mistaking the unreal as the real.
In reality, our true original face often appears with the
unreal stuff, making it impossible for us to distinguish or understand.
It is necessary to go through deep focussed meditation,
and insightful contemplation,
in order to look at our mind and heart
as apart from all phenomena.
Our original face is the mind and heart
from before we were born,
when we had not yet put on the clothes
of this physical body, and after we die,
when we have taken off the clothes of this physical body.
The true face is the mind and heart not limited
bya physical body or any outer phenomena.

Wearing Clothes

Are life and death scary?
We, who are pure spiritual consciousness,
become a human when wearing the clothes of a human;
become a dog when wearing the clothes of a dog;
become a fish when wearing the clothes of a fish;
become an insect when wearing the clothes of insect;
become bteria when wearing the clothes of bacteria.
So, we, who are pure spiritual consciousness,
may not be a human being, or some flying creature,
or a four-legged beast.
Now, which one are we? None of them!
when we incarnate as a human being,
we are called a human being;
when we incarnate as a bird, we are called a bird.
None of these are the solid, definite form of us;
none of these are the form of the "Self."
For this reason, we should not be attached,
and we should know the truth of "Selfessness."
the continuous stream of life is just like this.
We may generate many different forms of life,
but none of these life forms is who we are.
Our life is formless.
Our present form of life and body is borrowed,
and originates from karmic cause and effect.
So, nex time when someone is scolding you,
or criticizing you, do not take for granted that it is you!

Transformation of Bodies

What exactly is the true self?
You may be a human being in this life; but we don't know
what you will be in your next life.
We stay in this cyclic existence of birth and death and
rebirth, continuously reincarnating and transforming into
many different life forms, transforming and transforming.
But, what are you exactly? In reality, you are not any of
these defined forms.
Perphaps you are a human today, a horse tomorrow,
and you will become a bat the day after.
So, am I a horse or human, ultimately?
Am I a bat or a butterfly?
You have to become detached from unreal appearances
in order to know what is real.
This means that you should first comprehend the whole
truth of suffering, impermancence, and selflessness.
Slowly, you will become detached from the unreal,
and as a result the real will manifest.

Water Flowing into the Ocean

When we are confronted with big and small problems,
or troublesome situations, we should exercise forbearance,
acceptance, and tolerance.
Be like the ocean, which receives hundreds or rivers.
Without making exceptions, the ocean accepts water from
the rivers, the streams, or the sewers, and converts the
water into a single taste - salty.
The ocean contains many different kinds of water.
The practice of Buddha Dharma requires exactly the same
kind of inner capacity;
a mind and heart that is
capable of accepting everything,
capable of dissolving and transforming everything,
and ultimately experiencing and realizing the taste of "Emptiness."

Like Sugar in Water

When we encounter obstacles in daily life,
we should learn acceptance and tolerance
if we want to transform the obstacles into a surge of power.
Use the wisdom of "Emptiness" to transform and dissolve the obstacles.
Let the mind and heart always remain in the condition of
"Emptiness"; wherein anything added into the "Emptiness"
will not affect the "Emptiness."
Thus, let whatever tasks or problems come to us,
be like the situation of dropping sugar into water.
The sugar dissolves, and the problem is gone.

Temple of the Body

Our body is like a temple.
The mind lives inside the temple.
It is Buddha; it is also a demon. How come?
Right knowledge, right understanding is called "Buddha,"
and wrong knowledge, wrong understanding
is called a "demon."
Both Buddha and demon are functions of the mind.
If the mind is bright, clear and awakened,
the whole temple will be bright, clear and glorious as a result.
If the mind is not bright, clear and awakened,
this temple of the body will become
dark, dreary, and without light.

Food

Question: Usually it is said that the "prajna"
method is the most difficult to transmit
Master: It is not diffucult.
Question: But, it is supposed to be the hardest method to teach, and impossible to grasp. Furthermore, "Emptiness" and "Existence" may cause conflict.
Master: Not true.
Polarization of "Emptiness" and "Existence" is the cause of confict.
Actually, "Existence" is the food of "Emptiness."
How could there be conflict?
This would be like saying that
"Bodhi (enlightenment) is affliction."
Affliction is the food of "Bodhi."