Discovering ones own body – with the help of a partner

Too often women expect their men to pleasure them without having first identified what they like. This is not to say that women do not recognize when something feels good, rather, what I am suggesting is that some women do know what the literal motions are that cause them to feel good. Thus, this exercise is designed to help women identify which motions are most pleasing to their own bodies. Given that this is a two-person exercise, the male will also benefit from this exercise. Not only will he be with a woman who has a greater awareness for her own body, but he too will have learned with her what types of motions turn her on the most!

This exercise begins when the male has an erection and the female is lubricated. Some couples prefer masturbating to ensure a ‘hard’ erection and a ‘wet’ vagina. If the woman is having trouble lubricating, sometimes adding a little bit of Astroglide, a water based lubricant, is helpful. Once wet, engage in coitus with the woman on top. Specifically the male should lay still to encourage the woman to engulf his erect penis with her vagina. The woman should then move her hips in as many different ways as she can think of, all the while taking note of which motions feel the best to her. Having discovered what feels best, repeat, but this time changing the position of the knees / legs. Specifically a) squatting, b) sitting upright with legs out in front (so the motion comes from using your arms to help move you, c) laying down with both feet being near each other d) kneeling while leaning forward e) kneeling while sitting upright. Again move the hips in all different directions a) forward, b) side-to-side, c) circular and d) up & down. Throughout all of these positions their should be silence between the partners. The goal of this is NOT for the male pleasure, but rather for the female pleasure. She is simply moving for her own excitement. Then, at the woman’s command, the man should tilt his pelvis a) back, b) none c) slightly forward d) all the way forward. Again, the woman will need to repeat all the different positions so that she will be able to determine which positions causes her the most arousal.

Helpful hints:
. . . .tell your partner how much this exercise is turning you on. Tell her let go of her inhibitions and to ‘ride you’ any way that feels comfortable. Get creative verbally and find ways to give her permission to be selfish and just to focus on her own sexual pleasure.

For the female . . .use this as a great opportunity to focus on yourself for once. Too often lovers spend too much time trying to please the other and they forget about focusing on self. Remember sometime knowing that someone is orgasmic from their penis is as much of a turn on as receiving a blow job.

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