Low Sex Drive

Problems with sex drive are to be expected if you are not enjoying sex - or do not get enough arousal to become orgasmic. Why should you want something that is not particularly enjoyable!

Thus, if you are finding yourself not particularly excited by the sex that you are having with yourself or the sex that you and your partner are having, consider yourself normal for having a low sex drive.

As you learn new ways to enhance your sexual pleasuring techniques, your sex drive, almost by default will increase.

If you are having trouble exciting yourself during masturbation:

Try using toys:

	lubrication: lubrication will help increase the pleasurable sensations by decreasing the friction often caused by sticky hands
	dildos and / or vibrators : dildos and vibrators can be used for solo-intercourse. They can be used alone, or you combine them with manual stimulation. Furthermore, some dildos are designed to stimulate your g-spot, others will tickle your clitoris while penetrating you
	pillows: squeezing your inner thighs around a pillow will enhance the sensations of masturbation – no explanation is purposely given to explain this sensation. This is something you simply will need to take our word for
	fast PC contractions: fast PC contractions causes you to feel an extra level of stimulation
	water: let water drip from the water faucet onto your genitals and masturbate. This added sensation is completely outside of your control and may just add enough umph to make it more exciting for you
	books: sexy books helps set the mood, not to mention candles and soft music

However, if it is your partner who is experiencing a low sexual desire, take some time to focus on how to sexually stimulate your partner. And if it is you who has the low sex drive, show this to your partner and talk about it with him/her.

Exciting your partner will require:

Communication skills (ie. being able to say what you like and dislike, what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable etc). Willingness to experiment (ie. you will never know what you like and or dislike if you do not try something). Trust (ie. trust that you partner is on your side, and that the two of you are working together).

If you and your partner are having 'sex drive' problems . . . one question that you might want to ask yourself is 'how committed are we to the relationship?' Are we talking about divorce? Are there any extra-marital affairs going on? Am I really willing to let down my guard and work on this issue? If you and your partner are able to honestly say that you are each 100% invested in this relationship, and want to improve your level of intimacy than you are ready to begin.

Having different levels of sex drive is one of the most difficult issues to resolve. There is no 'right' sex drive level. Normal is defined by the couple being in sink with each other. If both couples desire sex once a month, or once a day, then it is normal.

In the last Sex Tip, I spoke of people having a low sex drive because the sex was not fun. However, for some people this may not be the case. For some, they have no trouble feeling sexually aroused or excited.... rather their low sex drive is a reflection of negative messages about female sexuality, fear of loss of control over sex drive, unpleasant reactions during sex, fear of pregnancy, STI's, depression, hormonal or medical issues, body image and aging concerns, partner attraction issues, issues of trust, issues of personal space and lastly lifestyle issues and marital conflicts.

Now that you have been able to identify the cause of your low sex drive. "Treatment" should follow accordingly.

1) Negative messages about female sexuality: Develop positive messages about female sexuality. To do this, you will need to explore where you got those messages from. Looking back in time, what were your parents attitudes, your peers, culture. How are these messages beneficial to you. Are these values something that you want. If not, ask yourself why you keep holding onto them. You may benefit from a woman's/men's empowerment group (depending on your gender), feminist literature or even a class taught from a

feminist perspective.

2) The work ethic: You spend so much time working hard and trying to become successful, that sex becomes a low priority. Therefore no sex drive. Try scheduling more relaxing time into your day. Focus on the 'frivolous' sides of life. Get touch with the child in you. Schedule play time and time for sex.

3) Unpleasant reactions during sex: Sometimes people come to relationships with childhood trauma's (sexual abuse, rape etc.) therefore sex feels bad. Old memories are brought up. One way to resolve this problem is to put the person with the 'unpleasant reactions during sex' in full control. Have that person for the next 2 months initiate all sexual contact.

4) Fear of loss of control over sex drive: as I have said before, letting yourself go, orgasm, will not change you as a person. You will decide how to act.

5) Fear of pregnancy: Use two forms of birth control and/or engage in all other sexual activities besides intercourse.

6) Depression: See a counselor. As your depression decreases, your sex drive will naturally increase.

7) Hormonal or medical issues: See your doctor. Your sex drive may be related to your hormonal level or medical issues.

8) Body image and aging concerns: see #1. Look in the mirror and begin telling yourself all the different ways in which your body DOES work for you. Are you able to sit, stand, run, dance, etc.

9) Partner-attraction issue. Talk with your partner about this. If his breath stinks, let him know this. Let him know that you feel more attracted to him after he brushes his teeth, or right after a shower. If it the skill level of your partner which is a turn off, keep reading this newsletter and more techniques to improve sex will be coming up in the next few weeks.

How to last longer

Many men complain of premature ejaculation. The good news is that this problem tends to respond to sex therapy. Clearly, if you are reading this tip, you may be thinking about this issue, but not ready to go to a sex therapist for information and help. If that is the case, then you have come to the right location. The next series of tips are devoted to what steps you will take for yourself so that you too can learn how to maintain an erection and look at some proven ejaculation dysfunction solutions.

In case you are wondering what exactly is a premature ejaculator, it is a person who on a regular basis ejaculates before he and his partner are satisfied. In other words, lovemaking (penal-vaginal or anal intercourse) is disappointing. According to Helen Kaplan, "the essence of prematurely is lack of adequate voluntary control over the ejaculatory reflex". These men experience ejaculation continence. Thus, it follows that men who prematurely ejaculate have not learned to recognize the pre-cursor sensations to ejaculation. This can be seen as similar to a young child learning to control her/his bladder. In the beginning children do not recognize the signal(s) that their body is giving them about the degree to which their bladder is full until it is too late. As a child ages, she/he develops an awareness of when she/he needs to urinate, control of bladder muscles and an understanding that the more liquid consumed, the greater the need to urinate.

A typical adult male not only has relative control over the timing of when he lets himself urinate, but when he lets himself ejaculate. Yet, as a human, there are times when even the man with the best control finds himself in a long car ride with a desperate need to urinate and is forced to pull over to the side of the road to relieve himself, or extremely sexually turned on and ejaculates before he ideally would like to. It happens. This only becomes problematic when the loss of control happens frequently enough to impair your day-to-day life. Recognizing the sensation(s) of the pre-cursory signs for the need to urinate or ejaculate are critical to the treatment process. 

10 Things You Will Like About A Home Based Business

Here's a few things I've discovered along the way that you will like about owning your own home based business.


1. You Are The Boss


How many people endure a Boss that undervalues your contribution to the organization? Or one who takes credit for your work. More than you might think! Own your own business and you are the boss! You take the credit win, lose, or draw.


2. Work The Hours You Want


That's right! Suppose your spouse works the late shift, you would rather be home during daytime to take care of the children. And you would prefer not putting the children into day care? If you are self employed, you can easily re-schedule your work to fit your family situation.


3. No Long Commute


A friend once spent 4 hours commuting to work each day. Talk about stress. She was tired before the work day began! Say goodbye to the long commute when you are self-employed. Your longest commute might be from one the bedroom to your home office.


4. Goodby Office Politics.


Have you experienced office politics? The co-workers positioning themselves with power figures to move up in the organization. Say goodbye to office politics!


5. Less Stress


Working in a familiar home environment will reduce your stress load. At home, you work at your own pace. If work gets hectic, you take a break. Put your feet up and relax.


6. Dress Codes


No more confining business suits, uniforms, or conforming to a stiff dress code. If you handle all your business over a computer or the telephone Dress The Way You Like!


7. Spend More Time With Your Family


This is a great opportunity to get the family involved in your business. And spend more quality time together.


8. Use A Skill You've Never Had The Opportunity To Use


You have ample opportunity to use your marketing skills, managing skills, accounting skills, people skills, sales skills, computer skills, and many other task you've been itching to try.


9. Realize Your Business Goals


You've taken that first difficult step toward personal and business success. By Striking out on your own and starting a home based business.


10. Boost Self Esteem


You now have more control over your financial and personal future. This will lead to a boost in your self esteem on many levels.


These are only a few of the things you will like about owning a home based business. Once you've started your own business you will add many more to the list!

Seven Tips For Work-At-Home Motivation

Considering a work-from-home business? Clients often say their biggest fear is loss of momentum. Here are seven tips to keep yourself motivated and productive.
(1) Build structure into your day.


Create a schedule and To Do list every evening for the next day, before you sign off for the day. (And yes – it is important to sign off, even if you return later to complete a project.) Include breaks and email reading time.


(2) Define goals by numbers ("write 1000 words") instead of time ("2 hours on Mega account"). One of the joys of working at home is you get to quit when you're finished ahead of schedule.


(3) Train friends and neighbors to respect your working hours.


Clients tell me about neighbors who say things like, "I told the UPS truck to leave the package at your house since you're always home." Discourage phone calls with a prepared response, like "I will call you after four o'clock today." You will be tested. Prepare to hang tough.


(4) Get the family on board.


Deal with their concerns before you start and be prepared to show how you are creating a win-win situation. Clarify what counts as an emergency – a valid reason to interrupt while you are working - and what can wait till dinnertime.


(5) Build breaks into your schedule.


When I started my own business, I was warned, "Plan to get out of the house! Otherwise you'll never leave your desk."


Frankly, I didn't get it.


Why wouldn't I take breaks? Now as I find myself answering just one more email, or adding two more paragraphs to an article, I see the clock move and realize I must stop if I want to get to the gym or the store before closing time.


Bonus Tip: A dog will force you to get moving, no matter what else is going on in your life.


(6) Make promises you will be motivated to keep.


My weekly ezine motivates me to write at least one article a week. You may be energized by company and client deadlines.


As your responsibilities grow, you will tend to accumulate more and more "real" deadlines and it's easier to stay motivated. But in the early stages, you're isolated, you're working hard and results don't appear immediately. That's why some people hire coaches and consultants to create accountability.


(7) Give yourself time to test your commitment.


Not everyone enjoys the work-at-home option. My clients tell me they need six to twelve months to decide how they are responding to this arrangement. You may decide to return to a workplace where you can see real people everyday. Or you may get hooked on having a dog-friendly, gossip-free workplace where you can open the windows all year round.

Color Control Cream

 Have you heard about CC creams?

What is CC Cream? The next generation of BB Cream.

BB creams are trending in the US at the moment and you'll probably see more come the Fall I imagine. So far Smashbox, MAC, and etc... have introduced BB creams stateside with a special appearance by Korean brand.

BB creams have been toned down a bit for the US market but the concept remains the same in some aspects. A creamy base product to flatter many skin tones that offers sun protection and flawless finish that evens our skin tone. Whitening benefits, pigmentation and some anti-aging benefits are missing from US versions but hopefully we catch up sometime soon to our Asian friends in this market.

Now that BB creams are on the rise here what come next?

 

That would be CC Creams or color control creams. What's a CC cream? It's the next generation BB cream.

CC cream is simply an improved version of a BB cream. It offers pretty much the same benefits as a BB Cream including whitening, moisturizing, sun protection and skin repair.

Where as BB Creams offer all these same options CC creams promise a lighter texture with a non-oily formula (and is some cases a matte finish) plus some will have Vitamin C for better brightening and whitening abilities. CC creams promise to have a lighter texture with more nourishing ingredients offering a beefed up formula with the ability to repair problem skin better than BB creams.

CC creams will contain White tea extracts, Green tea leaf extracts, Hydroponic Acid, Mineral Powder, Macadamia Extracts, Deep sea water, Aloe leaf extracts and Natural Vitamin E.

So it basically provides sun protection, hydration, agents to help soothe and calm skin, anti-aging elements, plus a long lasting formula.